Skip to main content

A Haunted Life - chasing my own ghosts

Today is my birthday.
I am 59 years old.

I am proud to have reached this milestone with my sanity mostly intact.
There where certainly times when I thought I had lost it completely and my own silliness led me down pathways that I regret, in hindsight.


But...this path is what it is.

It has been filled with ghosts.

Mostly of my choosing.

Strange, that most haunted people will tell you that they would wish otherwise.
They long for their nightmares to just go away.



Yet I have spent my life trying to work out who these energies are and why they have been around steadily pushing me in one direction as I mostly screamed and pushed in another.

The ghosts I have struggled with most are remnants of the terrors I inherited from my parents.

They are the manifestations of fear so deeply ingrained into their psyches through a war they barely survived which then became my nightmares.

These creatures, so awful and so dark, plagued my mind as a child, becoming so real that I had no words to describe them.
Just screams.



They have been with me always - but slowly I have learned to heal them through listening to what they have tried to say to me.

Since then, I can say, that no ghost terrifies me any more.

No darkness, no fear can be more frightening than what I have already seen inside my head and with my own heart.

I choose to be empathetic to such spirits.

I no longer feel the need to banish, move on or be rid of those ghosties that cause trouble or are frightening.

I long to learn about them, and ask, "Why are you so? What has driven you to this point to not accept peace as an option?"
Whose terror are they reinforcing?
Theirs?
Or our own?





I know they have a story to tell and that more often that not they are here because her have invited them in to teach us more about ourselves.

Once the fear goes - the lesson starts.

This has come with long years of study and suffering on my part.

This is not a task to be taken lightly by anyone who has not journeyed down the deep, dark path of their own soul and understood what they have seen.

It has taken me until I reached this ripe fruitful age to understand completely (and yet not so).

For the more I think I know - the more is slowly revealed.

Oh, how I wish I was right here right now but 20 years younger!!

But I am so grateful that I am well, strong and am finally living MY LIFE - filled with my ghosts and I just keep adding to them with total commitment.

My life would not be complete without my ghosts, without searching for the next piece of the puzzle, without a day of learning about the worlds that many do not care for, or dis-believe in.

That's OK - they don't have to.

I though, choose to believe in all of the unseen as I witnessed it all from the moment of my birth.

It has taken me my whole lifetime to embrace it all lovingly and passionately.

There is so much to experience - do not hesitate to be a part of it.

Let the naysayers have their thoughts.

and ideas on how the world turns.

We, in our quite moments, will close our eyes and know in our hearts that we know better and we shall continue to talk to our ghosts for they need us and we need them.






Comments

  1. Unknown12 October 2017 at 03:29

    So eloquently written. We all have our own ghosts. Of that I am sure.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gemma Rose18 October 2017 at 17:43

    Beautiful written Renata, deeply personal, and profoundly honourable. Ghosts within us, ghosts with out us, nothing to fear bu the fear itself, at which point, embracing, conversing and understanding are good key points to accepting. Much love. xox

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lemon Tree Passage Ghost - Local legend is alive and well

Lemon Tree Passage  is a suburb of the Port Stephens local government area in the Hunter Region of New South Wales, Australia, located at the end of the Tilligerry Peninsula and surrounded by the waters of beautiful Port Stephens .  Ever since I can remember there have been a few urban legends about a stretch of highway named Lemon Tree Passage Road. The story begins when a motor bike rider and his pillion passenger died after colliding with a four wheel drive killing both. This seems to be the source of the ghostly lights and apparition. These sort of events don't stay quiet in small townships. Stories spread fast often not ending up like they started. Every so often this urban legend makes a comeback with a number to people tempting fate and poking the ghost rider.             A memorial to Dale Dickens on the Lemon Tree Passage Road / Pic: Robert Mckell Source:The Daily Telegraph The  Lemon Tree Passage ghost  f...
3 comments
Read more

Haunted Gladesville Asylum

In the dead of night on Sydney’s Parramatta River, an abandoned asylum sits cloaked in darkness – Gladesville Mental Hospital, once known as Tarban Creek Lunatic Asylum. The History of Gladesville Mental Hospital Gladesville Mental Hospital’s story begins in colonial Sydney with lofty ideals and grim realities. Opened in 1838 as the Tarban Creek Lunatic Asylum, it was Australia’s first purpose-built mental hospital. The site – aptly located at Bedlam Point on the river – was initially designed by Colonial Architect Mortimer Lewis and meant to house just 60 patients in humane conditions. Early superintendents like Dr. John Thomas Digby and later Dr. Frederick Norton Manning sincerely aimed to “treat” rather than merely confine the mentally ill. Manning in particular, after studying overseas, condemned the asylum’s original “prison-like” atmosphere and worked to minimize restraints and improve diets and recreation by the 1870s. In 1869 the name was changed from “Lunatic Asylum” to Gla...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Peculiar Fascination with Ghosts - the Colosseum in Rome

The Colosseum, or the Flavian Amphitheatre as it was originally known, is a marvel of ancient engineering and a symbol of the grandeur of the Roman Empire. Construction began under Emperor Vespasian in AD 72 and was completed in AD 80 by his successor, Titus. This monumental arena could hold between 50,000 and 80,000 spectators, all eager to witness the thrilling—and often brutal—spectacles that took place within its walls. The Colosseum was the stage for gladiatorial contests, public executions, and dramatic reenactments of famous battles. Its vast underground complex, known as the hypogeum, housed gladiators, animals, and prisoners who awaited their fate in the arena above. The bloodshed and violence that occurred here have left an indelible mark on history, and it's no surprise that many believe the Colosseum is haunted by the spirits of those who met their end in its arena. From the ghostly cries of gladiators to the spectral figures seen roaming the corridors, the Col...
Post a Comment
Read more